Funny how when you get out of your own way and do the work, good stuff happens. The goal for 2012 is to stop acting like I’m 12. For the 6’7″ monster, it’s time to grow up.

So what’s so great? Venice Underground Comedy kicks ass, for one! I LOVE VENICE! I LOVE COMEDY! And with VenUground, I introduced them to each other and, it turns out, they love each other too. We make a sexy, fun, dirty threesome! Local support has been UNREAL! Venice peeps won’t go anywhere if they can’t ride bikes, skateboard or stumble to it. That said, in this crazy town they’ve got choices, and they’re choosing the basement of Townhouse on Wednesdays. And because the crowds are so good, and the Townhouse is AWESOME (check it out), the best comics in the business are coming down into our historic Speakeasy Basement. Every week is like comedy school for me– watching the best, and dealing with chaos Venice creates. I love my peeps, but we’re a freak show, my lanky ass included. Long story short. Wednesdays are my favorite day of the week!

What else? Dropped 20 pounds so far this year. It was easy, all I had to do was stop eating like I was 12. No added exercise. I figured it was easier to be conscious of what I eat. Here’s my weight-loss plan summed up in as few words as possible: Food is fuel. Like gasoline, low grade fuel leaves disgusting deposits and that cause knocking, pinging and horrific emissions. I’m not concerned with the weight so much as the positive benefits of losing it. And here’s the motivator that keeps me going: FOOD is to FUEL as your BODY is to a TRUCK… NO ONE wants to FUCK a TRUCK.

After two years of procrastination, I finally got off my ass and found someone to do up my new site. Looks great, huh? Shout out to Brian Monarch for dealing with my million tweaks.

 

So what caused me to stop procrastinating the website now? Because I’m procrastinating bigger things, of course. Before I got around to this I did my taxes, took a trip up the coast, joined Netflix and watched 4 documentaries, including Joan Rivers one (awesome, BTW), bought groceries, changed oil, stopped drinking, joined gym, cleaned house (typical), organized closet. And while doing a bag for Goodwill, I realized I didn’t need to donate my favorite sweatshirt just because it was faded, I could get it dyed black again. After Ogdens cleaner informed me that they don’t do that kind of work in 2012. I decided to do it myself. Next thing you know, I’m wandering the aisles of Jo-Ann’s Fabrics looking for RIT black dye. What should have been a 5 minute trip was about an hour as I considered starting craft or textile hobbies. Cuddly Crochet, anyone? In case you didn’t know, that’s stuffed crochet animals, duh? And, finally I spent an afternoon dying my sweatshirt… and my hands… which looked like I had hypothermia for a couple days. Long story short. Here’s the new website. Crap, I gotta find a new distraction. Tarot? Card magic? Tarot Card Magic?